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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
An old box of randomly labelled cassette tapes is liberated from a garage sale and into the hands of a journalist who begins sifting through the contents and discovers random interviews with the citizens of a remote town known only as Bootstuck, a distant former military base in Ontario's northernmost region. The characters that occupy this abandoned outpost are colourful to be polite, unstable, unpredictable, or erratic to be direct but have all bypassed their obvious intellectual shortcomings to suss out an existence in this wild and challenging place.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 8 - Broadcasts from Bootstuck
In this episode, we uncover a curious new detail: Bootstuck has a radio station. That might explain some things—and raise a few more questions. Our notoriously unreliable informant, Hat Guy, returns with another garbled news update, making it tough to pin down what’s actually happening in this mysterious place. There's a mention of a restaurant called “Eater Way” and a chef named Dave—possibly the Dave from earlier tapes? But before we can dig deeper, the topic veers right back to hats. Just when it seems we might finally get some answers—like the actual location of Bootstuck—Hat Guy starts rattling off what sound like coordinates… only for the tape to cut out, right on cue. Typical.
Tune in for static, speculation, and just a dash of disappointment.
www.bootstuck.com
You know, we should be on the radio instead of on the telephone. All you got to do is turn on the radio and call the radio station, and then you'll be on the radio. What radio stations do you listen to in Bootstuck? 622 Mud AM. So you listen to that and tell you what the weather be. So John goes outside and looks upstairs and says what the weather's going to be. In the afternoon, I listen to 92.2. 92.2, also known as Tiny 2.2. Tiny 2.2 gets played on the radio, and they have all sorts of good jams. I see. Don't listen to that in the morning. It's dead air. Actually, it's John sleeping, but it sounds like white noise. If you want to talk about television stations, you're going to have to go to the next town. We doesn't have one. Boy, I has one. Boy, it's not working. Well, this is all very confusing. We've got to come over sometime. Where do you eat in Bootstuck? Is there a restaurant there? Oh, yeah, we make our own. Sometimes Dave, he'll come out. We just tap on sideways just to see what I'll say. And he'll fire up the barbecue, put a possum on or two. You know, sometimes we get it done. And if somebody drives by, then it's a drive-thru or a drive-by. Either way. Either way? Yeah. Either way? Yeah. Is that the name of the place? Yeah. Either way you come in or go out is fine. There's only one door. Yep. Dave turns his hat around by the time it's all done. Yep. We wipe our face with the napkins and pull down our pants a bit. Oh, my God. It's a very confusing place. Now, as I understand, there are surrounding communities to bootstuck. Yonder and over there are probably the two closest. Yep. Round the bend, a little bit far away. Yeah. Ah. What's happening? I don't even know what to say. Well, let's talk about yonder, because that's where Timmy is from. Yonder. Yonder. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yonder. He's from yonder. Yonder has cable. Oh. Yep. Why did they get cable and Bootstock did not? Well, it's a spool. It's sitting on the side of the road. They ain't done nothing with it yet, but they got some cable. I see. Yep.
UNKNOWN:Yep.
SPEAKER_00:Whoop! Where's your meeting at? Hey. Hey. When did you... Longitude. Well, if you let it wait a little bit and stretch it out, it might get a little longer, dude. It's all stretching time. It's like, uh... Oh, no. Anywho, instead of using your watch, turn it to stopwatch, and then press pause. Then you've stopped time. It's good for getting to the store before it closes, because then you just stop at time. No matter what time they close at 8, you can get there at 7.30 and be okay. I am amazed at your wealth of knowledge.
