.jpg)
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
Tape 12 - "All is Fair in Bootstuck"
Just when I think I might be closing in on something concrete, Bootstuck takes a sharp turn back into the absurd. Tape 12 introduces us to Terrence, a man who apparently lives in a place called Nearby, which—naturally—is not nearby at all. It’s 70 kilometers away or, as Dave puts it, “seven songs,” depending on his mood and fuel level.
The rest of the tape is a dizzying preview of the upcoming Bootstuck Fair, a community gathering where you can get a license plate painted on your face or elbow (your choice), choke down force-fed funnel cake, and visit a “petting zoo” made up of whatever living creatures could be coaxed into a field that morning.
Hat Guy returns with more qualifications—this time ranked on Bootstuck’s patented “Interesting Abilities Scale.” Apparently flatulence earns high marks. Of course it does.
I now have vague locations, unverifiable names, and not a single Googleable reference. And with hundreds of tapes still ahead, it’s becoming clear that this project won’t end in clarity—but I’m far too deep to stop now.
So I’m settling in.
Probably should’ve done that ten tapes ago.
www.bootstuck.com
You know there are lots of activities going on about this season of the year. Hello, are you there? In a nutshell. Hey, speak in a nutshell. I was talking to Terrence yesterday from over there. He was talking about something coming up that was having a festival. I see. It's going to be held nearby. Is nearby a village or are you talking nearby bootstuff? Nearby is a village near bootstuff, you're all correct. It's quite nice. 68 kilometers away or seven songs if you drive like Dave. Yeah. Turn left when you see this bent tree. So you have to describe to me what happened at the festival at nearby. which is near bootstops. Most people show up. Then what you do is you look around. Some people make things and bring them out, right? Last year, Jerry made a whole bunch of little hats that looked like frog legs coming off of them. Also, you can paint your face. I think it's up to you what you want to paint. This time, I'm going to paint my elbow, and then there's a nice lady there, and she's going to paint something you want, a license plate or something like that you like on your elbow or your cheek. Yeah, they do that. They also have food. You ever have food from the fair? Well, I've been to many fairs. Usually, the food is different. What's the kind of food? It's like a funnel cake. So what they do is they put a cupcake and you smash it in a funnel and then you just put it in your mouth and pour water on top until it goes right down the gullet. Popcorn. They got a microwave set up. You push the popcorn button on the microwave and there it goes. It's not so much an attraction like a roller coaster or a magician. It's mostly the critters. And then after that, it becomes 4 o'clock and it's time to go home. I don't think I'll be able to make it this year. That's all right. I'll pick you up a souvenir. And if you want, I'll even pet a critter for you. You know what? You can pet something in my name. Absolutely. Is Caleb going to have a display there? Maybe he can build a wall. You can ask him yourself.
UNKNOWN:No.
SPEAKER_00:I don't want to talk to Caleb. We just got his test back on the Interesting Ability Scale. And Caleb got a 2, all things considering. The Interesting Ability Scale? Yeah, you heard about it, eh? Just now. It's becoming quite popular, actually. Does everybody in Bootstuck take this test? Oops, sorry, got a bit of gas. If they want to. Okay, so I'm going to tell you something, and I want your thoughts on it. I hear you speaking of microwaves and cooking food and things, so you have heat sources in food suction. Oh, that was four octaves. Yeah, well, that's a talent of mine. You know, it's funny. I had it in my calendar that you were supposed to call me today. Fell asleep in the back of the car. I woke up, slapped him in the face, and there he was. So it's funny because you ain't the only thing in my calendar today, would you believe it? I would, but what is your conflict of interest in your schedule? Oh, no, no conflict of interest. In fact, I'm not even interested in it whatsoever. It was supposed to be going out to lunch with Dale. You know how I feel about Dale. Doesn't Dale, he was born in Overhill? No, no, no. Yeah, that's the thing about him, and he never got over that. And he just thinks, well, you know, I'm better than you. No, no, no. When he's 55, maybe he'll be Right. So he never got over being from Overhill. That's right. Emotionally is Overhill over Dale. Oh, I understand what you're talking about. Maybe. Nope. Hang on. I got one. Hey, mind if I kind of just talk about myself? I am a car radio.
