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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 25 - "Bruise Your Bum?"
Tape 25: “Bruise Your Bum?”
There was a voicemail waiting this morning. I still have no idea how they got my number. No callback info, no explanation—just another rambling dispatch from Bootstuck.
It opens with a commotion in one of the backrooms and quickly derails into a story about beach injuries sustained from excessive waving. When pressed for any kind of local wisdom, they suggest an owl could probably handle that sort of thing.
A brief airshow takes place—unverified—before a scuffle breaks out nearby and Caleb is summoned to make soup.
Hat Guy ends the call abruptly when Jerry arrives with his wheelbarrow and squeaky shoes.
So many questions remain, including who our interviewer really is… and what the original mission was in contacting Bootstuck at all.
www.bootstuck.com
Yeah, well, I'm not technically set up to receive any more calls. Currently, so your call will have to wait till another time. I don't mean to be rude, but it's just kind of the way it's gonna happen. Wait a minute. I called you. Hello? Hello? Oh, something going on here. No, what's going on there? I don't. Oh, what is is that? Oh, well, that's just a little fl on now. If I pull this, and then everything goes away. then everything goes away. That's not very good. Put it back. All right, we're okay. Sorry about that. What was all that? There's a little bit of commotion. Speaking of commotion, you ever have a wave come up and knock you on your rear arm there, call you down, hit your pants on the ground. Bruish your bum? Whoop! ever do that? Bruise your bum? A wave? You mean, like in the ocean? Sometimes when Steven drives by I wave, I wave real fast, because he drives by real fast. Woo, HEY, Steven! Like that. Oh, you mean to fall down because you're waving too much? Anyways, I wanted to like to tell you another story, so hold on, I have it right now for you. I'm unfolding a piece of paper. Oh, my God. Pa......per Oh, this one one doesn't have anything on it. It's a new paper. New paper, nothing on it.. Whoop That's ok write your thoughts I'm sure you'll find something to talk about. We'll put it down later. We talked about leaving each show with some wisdom. We got an owl that has come around and sits in the branches. He's pretty wise. What else you need to know? You know, sometimes I wonder. I don't know how smart he is. Ain't never asked him a question about mathematics or or science. That would really be to know what. Oh, look at the goose, go, go, goose. Airshow. Whoop! Thank you. Anywho, I would like to tell you another story about something different. Oh, Okay, then. Contracts are more for people that are doing business with briefcases. Whoop I. You know what? Never mind. Is there anything that people have been asking about you on the show, is there anything that you want to tell people about Bootstuck? People have been asking about me... CALEB CLOSE THE DOOR! I can't hear or anything. The whole bunch of soup and pots and gravy Oh, speaking of which, you know what I've really been enjoying lately? Whoop, soup sandwich. Yep, Pretty tasty. A soup sandwich? Whoop! Yeah, Have you ever had one? Make you one. Caleb, get the soup! Soup sandwich. Yep. I'm ...You're six hours away....You're six hours away. Yeah, that's okay. Soup takes a while. Whoop. I got to also find some bread. That's gonna be a problem... Hey! Nope No bread over there either. Okay, never mind. Don't come. Whoop Gotta go. Call me in the kitchen. I'll call you in the kitchen. Say hi to everybody in the 'Stuck Hi HI! Dave, Hi, Dave. Hi Steven is not around. Steven if you can hear me, Hi I got to go. No way, I gotta go. I got to really go fast now because Jerry' just walking by with the wheelbarrow getting I' got my shoes on my hands now, and I'm gonna go. Gotta go. Wooo! Whoop, Jerry, wait for me. I can't get one straight answer from this guy. Why am I doing this? Hey, sorry, I came back. I forgot to hang up the phone, all right, gotta go.. He's actually gone. Unbelievable. Bruise your bum?
