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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 26 - " Tires and Carrots "
Tape 26: “Tires, Carrots, and Other Local Crops”
Got another recording today—this one opens with them claiming to have reached my “secretary” (the voicemail, I assume), asking if she has good penmanship.
After that, the call wanders through Bootstuck’s new agricultural report: apparently they’ve got a backfield full of “wild tires” that “grow” in the mud, plus a bumper crop of unexpected carrots. Dave’s supposedly writing a musical number about the tires.
Plans are also underway for a roller coaster (target height: seven feet), which Caleb is building out back, presumably with whatever they call “ticky tacky” around there.
Other local concerns include Martin (described as a “weaselly” fellow who ate a Tupperware lid and the toilet seat) and the critical safety rule that you must close the outhouse seat to keep out swans—or entire families of raccoons.
As usual, no clarification on why they’re leaving these messages, or how they even got the interviewers number.
www.bootstuck.com
Yep, yep, yep, whoop, me again. I've got a question for you. Sometimes when I call, I get this lady who's telling me to leave a message. I didn't know you had a personal secretary, and I want to know if she also has good penmanship. Sounds like she does. Yep. Ain't got no pens around here. Hey, Caleb, get me a pen. I... That's a pine cone. Chopping it. Okay. All right. Sorry about that. Long message. I'll make it a little longer. Tires. We got a lot of tires in here. Tires? Tires, yep. You have a lot of tires. Tires. Why, do people dump them there, or why is that? Oh, no, no, no, no. They just kind of grow, I guess. In a backfield there, there's probably about 250 tires just growing up. Some of them are real low down in the mud. They must be young. And then there's some that are up on top of the hill they must have grown up and started to discover. We let them be wild tires. We'll go make a song for them. Dave's going to write about it and then perform a theatrical number. He's pretty good. Tires. Also, carrots. Oh, no. We have a lot of carrots for some reason. They're just growing up everywhere. Carrots and tires. I don't even know where to begin. You do realize tires do not actually grow. Oh, no. You tell me. Come on up. When's the last time you was in bootstuck? Anywho. Well, I've never been. Right, that's what I'm saying. Trucks don't come by much anymore. Ski Hill's not being used anymore now that spring came around, 5 o'clock. Taylor! Making a roller coaster. Roller coaster. Yeah. You're going to have to make it higher than five feet, though. Go at least seven. Yeah, Ken. Yeah. All right. He's on it. Woo! Seven feet. Can you describe this roller coaster that you're building? Yeah, it's not built, but it's coming soon. Caleb's working on it now. Can you hear him? Yeah, I can hear him. There he is. Makes a lot of noise. And I don't know why there's chickens in the background sometimes. Chickens seem to fly by once in a while. We ain't got no chickens around here. Sorry about that. But we have a Martin. You know who he is? He's a little weaselly type of guy. Yep. Martin little weaselly type of guy. Yep. He's just got a stringy long neck and he likes to eat things that aren't his. Yep. Ate my Tupperware lid last week. Tupperware lid? Yellow one. Yep. Hard to find. Hard to eat. Wrong for Martin's. What else has he... He ate the toilet seat lid. Now it's going to be hard to keep the swans out. Of course. Number one rule, when you go to the outhouse, put the seat down or the swans will come in. Yep, one time a family of raccoons, 16 of them living in the outhouse. Oh no. I don't know if they had bunk beds or not, but it was in there. Well, I can say as a city person, that's not a problem I'm familiar with. You don't have raccoons in the city? What about swans? We do, but they mostly just swim in the ponds. We don't really find them residing in our outhouses as we don't use outhouses. That's disgusting. I'm assuming that you poop right beside the place that you sleep. That's kind of weird. There had to be a time they had outhouses and at some point they said, you know, we should bring that smelly building inside where we're sleeping. That's not so smart. Do you guys use ticky tacky for your houses out there? Ticky tacky? Yeah. Stick them together. Like that. I'm so confused. That's okay. Do you stick your houses together using ticky Tacky. Caleb will probably use it for the roller coaster. Nope. Anywho, I don't think it's gonna be that safe. Well, he likes it outside, so we'll figure it out.
Speaker 00:Dial it back. Dial it back.
