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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 30 - "The Annual Crash Site Trip"
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Found another tape in that old box from the Sudbury garage sale. I’m still trying to figure out why these people even bothered to record any of this.
This one opens with our familiar Bootstuck correspondent ranting about “training your ears to hear fast” by imitating rap music—he actually says rap rap rap rap like that’s instructional. Then he goes on about lines, arrows, and their life purpose (apparently good for Tuesday, Wednesday, and...Tuesday?).
There’s a bit about the air and sky (nothing further—just those words), then a detour into seagulls before he abruptly claims he has to go but immediately starts another story anyway.
Things get even more local when Don shows up—yes, he seems to be right there, answering like it’s a party line. They talk about Dave’s plan to sculpt spaghetti after eating chili. Front-row seats are apparently a big deal since they only have three chairs in town.
We also learn they have running water now—a real science breakthrough. Dinner plans include possum Dave found on the road (still “mostly soft inside”), and someone suggests just grabbing chicken instead.
Our narrator admits the most exotic Bootstuck meal he ever had was when they drank downed-medical-supply alcohol after a plane crash. They’re hoping for another crash so they can meet new people. And they propose making their annual trip to the crash site to light a candle, like some twisted memorial.
Before signing off, there’s a math riddle about pears that makes no sense (“One pair, two pairs of pairs—how many do I have?”), and they promise big things next week—a circus, a Guinness record attempt—and finish with Dave being told to clear off the coffee table for dancing.
Another baffling glimpse into Bootstuck’s way of life. I'm honestly not sure if they're in on the joke or if we're the joke. Either way, I’ll keep cataloging.
www.bootstuck.com
Whoop! Just thought I'd throw in a little bit of words here. If you open your ears a little bit, whoop, just like that, you can train your ears to hear fast if you want to. Yep, just think about a rap song. Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap. They said a whole bunch of things in there, but you don't know that. Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap. Yep, I wouldn't mind telling you about something else. What should it be? Lines are interesting. Lines are okay unless there's a little point on the end. That is an arrow, and it keeps telling you which way to go. Whoop! So that's exciting. I put that on the list for things to do on a Tuesday, Wednesday, and a Tuesday. Confusing! Whoop! I wanted to tell you about something else. Yeah. Air. Sky. Something like that. That's what I have to say about that. Now, seagulls are different. Anyway, I gotta go now, so I wouldn't mind telling you another story. What are we talking about now? I was thinking we were talking about getting it done. Right! Of course. Well, that's how you do things. Well, yeah, because you called me and said I did done it, and I got done. And I said I didn't see you did it, but then I told Don to check it off on the website.
Speaker 01No, hang on. Let me go get him.
Speaker 00Don's there? I'll wait for Don. That's like Christmas, you know.
Speaker 01Hello.
Speaker 00Hey, Don. Did you know that Dave was doing another spaghetti, y'all?
Speaker 01Well, he seems to be particularly skilled at the spaghetti sculptures, and he's the only one in town that knows how to do it.
Speaker 00He said he was going to make a sculpture out of a single piece of spaghetti. He was going to do it for us right after he eats a bowl of chili. I got myself two front row seats.
UnknownYeah.
Speaker 00so I can watch him do the chili-eat-spaghetti-off. You want, Carl?
Speaker 01Well, sure. I don't like to miss a performance, and we have to support the arts in our community.
Speaker 00Yeah.
Speaker 01The arts are important. The front row seat, that's interesting. He's only got three chairs. He's lined them all up in a single room now, hasn't
Speaker 00he? This time, yeah. He used to put them in a lineup, and one was at the way back. That's okay. I used to get nosebleeds when I sat back there for some reason.
Speaker 01That's because everybody was punching you in the face.
Speaker 00Yeah, that's because nobody could see what was going on, and I get abused a lot when there ain't nobody looking. Well, I wanted to know something interesting. Do you know anything?
Speaker 01We got running water now, so we can wash our hands.
Speaker 00Science.
Speaker 01Hands.
Speaker 00Science.
Speaker 01Science.
Speaker 00Science.
Speaker 01science and gas.
Speaker 00Little bit. Oh,
Speaker 01mercy heavens.
Speaker 00Possums for dinner tonight. Dave got one on the road. Still kind of fresh. Mostly soft on the inside.
Speaker 01Would anybody be opposed if I just grabbed some chicken?
Speaker 00Yep.
Speaker 01Now, I don't wish to mean any harm to our history in Bootstuck, but if I can be truthful, I don't find possum particularly delicious. Oh, that's okay. The most exotic thing I've ever eaten in Bootstuck is when my plane dropped medical supplies. We mistook the medical alcohol for alcohol.
Speaker 00That was a fun time. I remember when the hikers came by and said, did you see the box? And we said, it's over there, down the road. I'm hoping another plane will crash real soon because I wouldn't mind meeting some new people.
Speaker 01We should get ourselves some flares.
Speaker 00You know what we're going to do next week? I think it's about time, because it's been two years. We should take the annual trip down to the plane crash site and light a candle.
Speaker 01Light
Speaker 00a candle. Whoop.
Speaker 01Yep. Yep.
Speaker 00Yep. Yep.
Speaker 01Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Whoop. Yep. Yep. Whoop. Light a candle. Whoop.
Speaker 00Here we go. One time, I want to tell you something. Talk about pears. I have two. Two pears. One pair, two pairs of pairs. How many do I have? That's the question of the day. A little bit, yeah. Solve it and earn yourself an acorn top.
Speaker 01I'm bewildered.
Speaker 00Put it on the board.
Speaker 01Well, that'll make no sense.
Speaker 00I hope you give us a call next week because we got some interesting things coming to town. Like a circus, we have a world record Guinness bookers that we're going to try for. So come on back, and we'll talk to you then. Dave! Dave, clear off the coffee table. I'm going to do dancing. Dancing? Yes.
