The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck

TAPE 42 -Dave’s Dependency Depot

Richard Vandentillaart / Nick Vardon Season 1 Episode 42


Bootstuck continues its grand tradition of opening businesses that should not exist. Fish Beach, the town’s only two-fish restaurant, is thriving thanks to its “hooking parties,” while Tongues and Toes — the shoe-store-coffee-house hybrid that once served cups of Joe’s literal ashes — is finally closing its doors. (Don’t worry, the locals are going back to drinking gravy.)

The conversation drifts to childhood snacks (wagon wheels, children — same thing), oddly colored elbows, and Bootstuck’s unusual take on pharmacy services. At Dave’s Dependency Depot, you can get everything from red licorice to Viagra, depending on Dave’s mood and availability. No one’s worried about addiction because, as the caller insists, “everybody’s doing it.”

A nap may be the only safe prescription.


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SPEAKER_01:

Catching up with some of your older projects. How's Fish Beach? the restaurant doing? Fish

SPEAKER_00:

each? Fish each is doing pretty good. Yeah. We got a whole supply of fishes now. So now you can have two. Yeah. But only a big one and a small one. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I see. And how's the response been from the locals?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah. They love it when we get hooking. There's a big thing around here now. We start a whole big hooking party. Woo! Everybody comes and everybody yells and everybody says, more! More! Caleb and friends, yeah, he's got another guy now. We don't know his name and he goes like this. Think of name is Squirly. We're going to give him a new name tomorrow. They've been hooking non-stop. Yep, yep, yep, yep,

SPEAKER_01:

yep. How did Tongues and Toes...

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Tongues and Toes is where all of you went for a cup of Joe powder. Yeah,

SPEAKER_00:

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody's drinking Joe anymore. No. We ran out of his ashes. So we're going to switch right back to gravy again. And Tongues and Toes is going to be closed most days except tomorrow. Do you want to come down to have one before it closes up forever, ever?

SPEAKER_01:

If I could... Hang on, I'm Joe's

SPEAKER_00:

ashes? Did you not notice

SPEAKER_01:

it tasted

SPEAKER_00:

different?

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so Tongues and Toes is no more.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no more shoe stores closed. Yeah, Tongues and Toes was actually a shoe store that just never got kicked off right. It was on wrong foot most of the time. Think about it. It didn't light up, but what we did is we painted it bright colors. and put a mirror on top, so it's kind of like the pyramids. We look at it every day. Yeah, mythical. Man, cross that one off the board. You didn't think I'd use it. We got ourselves a real big board now. We add six squares to it, so we can add more words if we know how to spell it. I see. Woo! We used to eat children. Yep. They were good. They came in a little package. Yep. And you'd get four of them, and then you'd put them on top of something, and they'd roll it around a little bit and go, yee-haw! Wagon wheels. Like that. And you eat them all.

SPEAKER_01:

We never did that. We just ate them.

SPEAKER_00:

That's all right. We all do things differently. Look at your elbows and tell me what color they are today. It's hard to do and it's hard to see and it's hard to tell. And I don't know what's going to happen if you did.

SPEAKER_01:

It's funny you say that because one of them is flesh colored and the other one is blue and yellow.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, oh, maybe you was leaning on it and thinking. You think?

SPEAKER_01:

I've asked you before, haven't I? If you have a pharmacy up there.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we got a pharmacy. It's nice. We're growing some leafy greens this year. Growing quite tall. Six feet already. Stocks the size of my arm.

SPEAKER_01:

So you don't have like a pharmacy where you dispense medications and drugs?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, sure we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do? Yeah, kind of. It's Dave's Dependency Depot. Yeah, if you depend on something, you can go see Dave and he'll hook you up and get you all sorted out. Like, I depend on a red rope licorice twice a week. Dave's got it.

SPEAKER_01:

It's not really... So you go to Dave's Dependency Depot to get a red licorice whip and Xanax.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you can get what you like, though. That's what I like. Some people like... Hang on, I'm speaking. Sorry about that. Some people like Tootsie Rolls. I don't. And some people like marijuana. Viagra. Depending on what Dave's got today, he can get you sorted out. It's also mostly dependent on if Dave's there or not.

SPEAKER_01:

So there is a drug problem in Bootstuck. Well, I'm

SPEAKER_00:

not saying... No! We got it under control. Everybody's doing it. It's great. Yep, yep. Red rope licorice. Woo!

UNKNOWN:

Woo!

SPEAKER_00:

You must

SPEAKER_01:

take a lot

SPEAKER_00:

of naps.

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