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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 43 - The Bootstuck Nude Racing League
This week in Bootstuck, a new civic initiative is announced: treasure chests filled with nickels and notes will be hidden around town, doubling as both a wishing well and a municipal mystery. Meanwhile, preparations are underway for a “cake show,” featuring Gerald popping out of one, Caleb baking another, and Dave inevitably producing something spaghetti-shaped.
The town also attempts a census by slapping numbered sticky notes on people’s heads—accuracy optional. And as winter ends, the community embraces “nude racing” through the sugar bush, a spring ritual that is apparently faster than skidoos, shinier than Dave’s new spools, and only slightly less confusing than the crossed transmission of a Torontonian hog who lays eggs.
www.bootstuck.com
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:I've got a whole treasure chest of information to tell you about new things that are around town, and also some things that are a little bit square.
SPEAKER_02:I see. Well, why don't we start with the less confusing of the two and tell me about what's new? I'm
SPEAKER_01:going to start with the square, and that's the treasure chest. Treasure chest. Yeah, treasure chest. Say it again. Treasure chest. Harder to say the first time. Treasure chest. I got it. Inside. Clickety-click. Open it up. like that. Oh, he broke it. Inside the treasure chest, what we're gonna do is we're gonna put a bright, shiny nickel. Yeah, think about it. Make a wish. You ever used to make wishes on pennies?
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Yep, every time you had one, because what are they good for? Also for putting on train track, make them flat. Train track, make them flat, pick flat. You ever do that when you were a little boy? Hang on, I'm speaking. So we're gonna put a nickel inside the treasure chest, and then what we're gonna do is we're gonna put treasure chests around the area and everywhere that people come to from going when they come again. You'll also have a note.
SPEAKER_02:A note?
SPEAKER_01:Yep. a note. We're going to write notes on them and put them inside there. It'll be nice. That'd be real nice.
SPEAKER_02:What's the point of these treasure chests around town with nickels in them?
SPEAKER_01:Everybody's got things on their mind these days. And everybody wants to, yeah, some people want to think about other things. You ever make a birthday wish when they come out with the candles and sing the song? Hey, hey, there's a cake. There it is. There it is. Do you ever have that one? And then you've got to blow out the candles and tell somebody that they're going to have a long life?
SPEAKER_02:I'm not familiar with that version of the song. We sing happy birthday.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, on their birthday? Yeah. What do you sing to them if you've just given them a cake?
SPEAKER_02:Well, we don't.
SPEAKER_01:What we've got coming to town is going to make you real excited then because it's mostly a big cake show. Yep. Woo! Gerald is going to be popping out of the cake. Caleb is going to be the one crafting the cake from scratch.
SPEAKER_02:A cake show.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's going to be like a cake-off, bake-off. You ever have one of those things come to your town?
SPEAKER_02:No.
SPEAKER_01:So we're going to have three cakes being made. One is supposed to be in the shape of a tree. The other one's supposed to be in the shape of something other than a tree. And the last one's Dave, so you can probably guess it's going to be in the shape of a spaghetti.
SPEAKER_02:So is this a big event in town? Is there a lot of people that turn up to this kind of a thing?
SPEAKER_01:Well, Dave will be there.
SPEAKER_02:Dave will be there. You know, because over all the time I've talked to you, I really don't get a good sense of how many people actually live in Boots.com.
SPEAKER_01:Well, we try to count them, but everybody keeps walking around. So we're going to get ticky-tacky sticky notes and tick-tack-tap them on top of the back of their head. And then we'll number them equally. And then after that, what we'll do is we'll round them up and ask them to bring their sticky notes to the office. And once the sticky notes are there, we'll put the sticky notes up on the wall and see if we can't make a co-log. And then after that...
SPEAKER_00:Now, the 680 News International So, the skidoo races are going to be
SPEAKER_01:coming to an end. We're going to tally up who won. I think it's me. Did I ever tell you about the skidoo racing up here? Hang on, I'm speaking. So, the new racing is naked. It's nude. It's different. Nude? It's for springtime. Yeah. What did you think I said?
SPEAKER_02:Nude, as in N-U-D-E, nude, naked racing?
SPEAKER_01:It doesn't matter how you spell it. It's just without clothes. Of course. So it's a great way to enter into spring. And what we do is we run into the sugar bush. Essentially, what you can picture is just running through the trees.
SPEAKER_02:That's it? That's
SPEAKER_01:racing? Yeah, it's a good time. Well, we go fast, real fast.
SPEAKER_02:So you don't do any form of racing up there with vehicles?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Those things go slowly, as fast as you can push one, if we put the wheels on it. Or the spools. Dave got a new set of spools. Oh, no. Wow. They're one of them as shiny as heck.
SPEAKER_00:A ruffled Torontonian hogs the joint. And then he lays his eggs. Cool. You hear that? Well, we should figure it out if you care about me.
