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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 47 - The Gary Pointing System
This tape drifts between nonsense poetry, snack offerings, and unexpected town updates, stitched together by interference and interruptions. It opens with a ramble about dandelions, wishes, and snow cones, before a voice insists on offering the interviewer a peanut butter sandwich through the radio. Things derail into complaints about “wave and Tony,” which is either a person, a product, or both, depending on when you tune in.
The chaos continues: Bootstuck now boasts a Gary Pointing System (GPS), where a man named Gary literally tells you which way to go. Dave is concussed from a Black Friday sale gone wrong. Jerry the man and Jerry the dog have been rebranded for clarity. Toilets are being formally christened as Jonathan. And Timmy has opened a donut shop specializing in sprinkle-covered “celebration balls.”
The tape closes on the town’s latest innovation — Even Waving Tony, a method for standardized greetings where no one waves too much or too little. It’s democracy, Bootstuck-style: chaotic, confusing, and covered in sprinkles.
www.bootstuck.com
Well, I have to tell you that's a good point. You bring up a good point there, and I'd like to I like the point.
Speaker 02:Point it out. Yeah. It's sharp. Yeah.
Speaker 03:Look at that.
Speaker 02:Every kayak to dak kayak tack to dak yak a tack a could do. What would you do otherwise? You would just have a conversation where we didn't talk. Hold on now. Window woo blows you away like a dandelion. You ever get too excited and pick a yellow dandelion? You can't blow it away. No wishes for you. Nope. You ain't gonna get a boat. No. You gotta wait till the dandelion's near dead. Near dead dandelion's gonna get you the best wishes. Nope. You ever have a snow cone filled with uh all the way to the brim with a yellow topping that's not living? Whoop, come Please do not push against the glass.
Speaker 03:Don't don't listen to her.
Speaker 02:She's motion trigger. Injury wave bend.
Speaker 03:She's been funny me all day.
Speaker 02:Access denied, access denied, access denied.
Speaker 03:What? Hello?
Speaker 02:Well, I just called to say hello and offer you a peanut butter sandwich.
Speaker 03:Well, now how are you gonna offer me a peanut butter sandwich through the radio? That makes no sense.
Speaker 02:Well, that's how I offer it. How do you offer it?
Speaker 03:Well, I usually hand it to the person if I'm there.
Speaker 02:I would offer you a plate if you were here, but you're gonna have to use your imagination. I'll eat it for you.
Speaker 03:You're not making any sense. Have you been outside today?
Speaker 02:That's all right. Yep. I went outside.
Speaker 03:We have to have a conversation because we've had a few complaints about wave and tony.
Speaker 01:Say, boys and girls, in the current issue of TV today, there's a wonderful story about even waving Tony. You read all about it, won't you, in this week's TV Today. Excellent.
Speaker 03:That was bad. I don't know if you hear the same interference I hear, but I hear all kinds of I'll get all sorts of interference.
Speaker 02:Like uh well, whoo! Just think about it. I can do anything that I put my money. Well, I can do a lot of things. Well, there's a few things I can't do. There's a couple of things that I wouldn't do at all.
Speaker 03:Well, we gotta talk about Dave, okay? So the problem is Dave got hurt, and there was a Black Friday sale, and all seven of us tried to go through the door at the same time. And Dave got hit on the head. We thought it was corn rules to see above all the cop Wilson and Jason Nibblet. There's also a problem with hanging used rubbers on the line. Can't be doing that anymore. So I need to tell you, we got something new in Bootstuck, but I think you might find this interesting. You finally got GPS, Gary pointing system. He tells you where to go. You say, Gary, where am I going? He'll point you.
Speaker 02:Yeah, I use it twice this week. Where did you go? I was gonna ask you if you wanted to know more than that. So I found out something interesting though. Jerry got a dog. Yep. Jerry's dog's name Jerry with a G. And Jerry's name Jerry with a G. And it gets confusing, so I got him to change his dog's name to Jerry with a J.
Speaker 03:Now hang on a second, because you like to poop like a pickle. Do you tell me toilets? What are we gonna call the toilets now? Because we need surnames. Are they gonna be called Jonathan?
Speaker 02:Yep, I thought Jonathan was probably the most proper name or Sir Jonathan. I'd like to go into the ballroom. Small room! Small room with Jonathan.
Speaker 03:And you got no ballroom and Jonathan?
Speaker 02:You ever have celebration balls?
Speaker 03:To be fair, it sounds like something that happens after a party, but no. No, I what what what?
Speaker 02:It's on the donut shop. We got this near donut shop. Well, well, Timmy, he's got a new donut shop, and he's got tiny little balls that he sells, all decked out with sprinkles and whatnot. You ever know about that?
Speaker 00:No. Where it's that at. This is new even waving Tony. You just can't overwave or underwave. Look, easy even waving. Yes, you can't underwave or overwave. Look, no stragglers, so you try this new even way to wave. Even waving Tony.
