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The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck is a documentary-style audio descent into a place that shouldn't exist—but very much insists that it does.
Once a forgotten military outpost in the depths of Northern Ontario, Bootstuck has taken on a life of its own. Discovered only through a pile of mislabeled cassette tapes at a Sudbury garage sale, the story of Bootstuck slowly unravels through scattered interviews, cryptic clues, and increasingly bizarre residents. The deeper you listen, the more you realize — this isn't just a town. It's a puzzle. And somewhere in that puzzle?
A plane crash that changed everything.
Somewhere between folklore, found audio, and fever dream, Bootstuck blurs the line between documentary and delusion—offering listeners a place to get lost in, over and over again.
The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck
TAPE 62 - A Mapmaker Tries to Find Bootstuck
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Tape 62 opens with a discussion of silliness that quickly spirals into confusion over string, strength, and a much-anticipated “stripper” coming to town—revealed to be strictly for removing paint, not clothing. From there, spring preparations begin in earnest, including plans to repaint fallen leaves and reattach them to trees with Caleb’s help, sometime between now and mid-May.
Seasonal activities in Bootstuck include off-leash Caleb time, group “adventure rallies” involving shouting in the woods, and the long-awaited arrival of a mapmaker who may or may not be able to find the town. Elsewhere, major cultural developments unfold: mint inside chocolate, an inconvenience store that sells nothing useful, and pretzels that are generously de-salted by hand. The episode ends with geographic clarifications about rivers, lakes, and the continued absence of ships.
www.bootstuck.com
I'd like you to tell me about a sillier time. Silly strings, that's an actual thing. They made a thing called silly string, and what it is is a funny looking tube, and you push it and everybody laughs, except for the guy getting string.
SPEAKER_01:Well he gets strung.
Hat Guy:String strung strong. Woo! He's a strong stringer. Woo!
SPEAKER_01:A stringer?
Hat Guy:Yep. We got a stripper coming to town next week.
SPEAKER_01:You do?
Hat Guy:It's gonna be a good time. Yeah. Everybody's getting together, and we're gonna watch him strip the paint off of Jerry's walls. Yeah. He's got a big scraper, you see.
SPEAKER_01:Well, of course that's what it means.
Hat Guy:Well, maybe we'll get some new paint afterwards, too.
SPEAKER_01:You know, a a a stripper means something different here.
Hat Guy:Yeah. Yeah. If you need one of ours, we'll send one down to you. We'll loan her. Uh loan the stripper to you for a little bit, and you can just do your own wall. Our stripper also does floor. Yeah, flooring and walling. Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, uh a stripper is someone who uh who takes their clothes off uh professionally.
Hat Guy:Oh, professionally?
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
Hat Guy:Whoa. Well, I can ask him.
SPEAKER_01:Is that something you really want to do?
Hat Guy:Well, I thought it was something you wanted to hear about.
SPEAKER_01:No, not particularly. Not not for bootstock, no.
Hat Guy:That's all right. What would you like to hear about? I'll tell you something. We got lots going on here.
SPEAKER_01:Well surprise me. We always do.
Hat Guy:So today is the afternoon time comes round, which is after the sun is high in the sky and it slightly dips to the right. Uh then what we're gonna do is we're gonna get all the leaves back on the trees ready for spring. Oh. You see, they're falling off in the wintertime. Well, of course. All in the ground, all brown. So we're gonna paint them up, put them back on the trees. They're gonna look real nice, provide a lot of shell that's that sounds lovely. Yeah, it's gonna be a nice time. It's gonna probably take a little while, maybe like a week or a month or a year. I don't know, but maybe not as long. Because typically mid-May they're all back up. Sometimes they go to sleep and wake up, and Caleb's putting them back up on the tree.
SPEAKER_01:Uh uh what are some of the uh springtime activities?
Hat Guy:Off-leash playing. We let Caleb run around a little bit longer than he normally does. Adventure rallies. Yeah, we're into that now quite quite a lot.
SPEAKER_01:Adventure rallies? What's that?
Hat Guy:Yeah. What we do is you ever have a rally where you are?
SPEAKER_01:Like a car rally, automotive rally?
Hat Guy:Uh you could. We don't got movable cars, but what we do is we go out into the woods and we all rally together, clap our hands, and shout real loud.
SPEAKER_01:I see. Well, that is different.
Hat Guy:Yeah, and then when you go real deep in the woods and you get a little lost and you turn around and you drink a little sauce, then it becomes quite the adventure.
SPEAKER_01:Well, there's no shortage of excitement in in Bootstark.
Hat Guy:Woo, yep, yeah, we're gonna do that tomorrow. Yeah, we have a new map. We got a map maker. You ever have a map maker come to your town and tell you where you live? A map maker? Yeah, we got a guy supposed to be coming to town and making maps about our town. Woo! Bootstuck. It's gonna get all mapped out if he can find the place. You gotta you gotta do that if you want to move forward with society. You see? Also, mint inside of chocolate is new. Yeah, we got it today in the drop box.
SPEAKER_01:Mint inside of chocolate? That's been around for that.
Hat Guy:Who would have thought about that? It's refreshing, delicious, and it's just the right amount. Woo!
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, spice. That's been around for quite some time, actually.
Hat Guy:Uh mint, but yeah. Oh, might be stale. Yeah, we got all sorts of snakes, snacks, and stoop spats coming to town. Got a new convenience store. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Is it convenient?
Hat Guy:Well, it's kind of out of the way, and it also doesn't carry anything you want.
SPEAKER_01:It's an inconvenience store.
Hat Guy:Sure. Yeah, we got one. What do you need?
SPEAKER_01:I'm all said. I'm good. I I don't I think the ship shipping would probably be quite expensive for good stores.
Hat Guy:Yeah, we don't carry ships anyway. You see, there's only a small lake nearby and a river. River goes two ways. It's kind of interesting. Goes around the bend south, comes up to round the bend north. The lake's on the east, so there's really no place for a ship. Sorry we don't have what you're looking for. Yep, yep, pretzels. Woo! We got pretzels. You like them? They're salty. We're gonna lick all the salt off for you. Is that better?
SPEAKER_01:No.
